IN THE WORDS OF A METALLIC BUTTERFLY
Toluwanimi Obiwole Ravished Now Magazine


IN THE WORDS OF A METALLIC BUTTERFLY

Makeup by Eric Quintana

Stylist Ernesto Prada

Photographed by Rebecca Grant

Written by Toluwanimi Obiwole

Toluwanimi Obiwole Ravished Now Magazine

how to summon yourself from ash

And today

all the men are saying the same things again

Calling for my body as sacrament

Begging to nest in it’s fractures

I, just a pair of big lips and darkened knees

Take the box cutter into my hand and make a home  

I tear out what they feel they have conquered

An offering for the space I need

Today

i am reclaiming my body in ways that seem foreign even to me

Today,

i make myself the salt in the wave

An invisible sting

So small

Yet so big it

makes the whole ocean heavy

Carries the bodies on its back and does not begrudge them the weight

Today

I hold my people up without becoming their pain

I stand so close to their skin while still knowing the fluid shift, dance, and chocolate dip of my own

Today

I am soft enough to remind myself that I can still be in love

I can hold something sharp as my my own fear and not succumb to it

Today I am an entity an angel or a pool of light or a sunrise witnessed only by the forgotten insides of a yellow curtain

I came back to this body to write a hymn about it

To relearn what it means to hold these nerves and sticky capillaries so close to a soul

I came back to love what they said was fractured

What the body I left behind felt was a rift that could never be crossed

A vacated home full of discarded coconut husks

I used them to make my bowls

I came back

to tell Me

To tell I

We don’t always have make something beautiful of the pain

Sometimes we can start out a fresh morning

And mold the joy in our hands

The lie they told was not that atonement exists

But that you were unworthy in the first place

God may not lie

But the truth is often a contradiction of itself

A house full of fun house mirrors

Distortions of your image

But your image just the same

Today

I become pure

By pure

I mean the most complete collection

of all my selves.

Toluwanimi Obiwole Ravished Now Magazine
Toluwanimi Obiwole Ravished Now Magazine